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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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