if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
