When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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