There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
