someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
