I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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