He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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