This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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