Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
