i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Alive.
So much puke
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
