They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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