You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize