i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My underwear smells like fireworks.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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