dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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