You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Randomize
