This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
