Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Damn victory sex feels great
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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