so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
