Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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