I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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