we made out on top of his cat.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
