i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
A bitchslap is in order.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
