I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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