Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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