so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
