Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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