But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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