hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
