I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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