yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
