Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
