i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
