Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Enjoy the penises
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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