AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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