I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize