Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
