Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You pole danced in your parka.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
