I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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