Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
