I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
