all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
