I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
