id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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