Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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