see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
