I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
