this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize