They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
