So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
