You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
