why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We need to rekindle our bromance
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I said "one day" and that day is not today
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
