does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
