i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
be right there i have to get my cape
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
