how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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