i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The feeling are messing with the penis
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
