He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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