Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
