I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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