lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
