Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Randomize
