omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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