she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
