cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
